Where to start on writing your wedding vows

Writing your wedding vows will be some of the most difficult words you will ever put to paper in your whole life… How does one adequately express the all encompassing, undefinable emotion such as the love you feel for your partner? What words are enough, to make lifelong promises to them in front of all your loved ones? It’s a daunting task – but one absolutely worth doing, so we here at San Remo have put together some tips to ensure you nail your vows and feel confident speaking them aloud on your big day:


Vows are for life, so give them the time and respect they deserve by going slowly, thinking hard and getting them right. This means starting early and setting aside plenty of time to write your vows. Definitely do not leave it until the night before!

Allow yourself the space and time for your vows to come to you naturally – if you purposely focus on your partner and think of them often throughout your day with the mindful intent of writing your vows, you’ll find the words will begin to form themselves!

San Remo Expert Tip – Leave a notebook beside your bed or workspace, so when inspiration hits, you can quickly jot down notes.


Wedding vows are meant to be a personal and honest reflection of your feelings. You have to stay true to yourself and your own style – don’t copy directly from Google, or use someone else’s vows (unless it’s a quote or a poem you want to include) Don’t use words or phrases that you wouldn’t normally use, and avoid mushy cliches that make you sound like a bad 90’s romance movie. Be yourself!

Be as creative as you like, however the most important thing is that you really mean what you’re saying. Keep it simple but meaningful, and although you can inject lighthearted humour, honour the seriousness of your commitment.


Sometimes the hardest word to write, is the first one. If you need some inspo to kick off your writing, think of your vows as a love letter to your partner. What is it you love about each other? What do you love about your relationship? What promises do you want to make? What makes your partner and your relationship special?

Write down a list of key words and random thoughts, and before you know it, the words will be flowing onto the page. Write out a big draft, then edit edit edit!


When you first feel you have finished your writing – you haven’t! Read your work out loud, and you’ll find there will be tweaks needed to be made. Editing is super important, and when reading them aloud, you’ll find words that you may have used more than once that you can replace with something else, or you’ll find a different way to form a sentence that flows better. 

Speaking your vows aloud as often as you can will perfect them, and when you are truly finished, keep them handy and read them a few times a week. Sounds excessive, but trust us – when you are standing at the altar in front of all your family and friends, you’ll be thankful for the practice and you will sound clearer and more confident.


Keep your vows short and sweet! When reading your vows aloud, time yourself – you don’t want to be speaking for longer than a few minutes. Our San Remo wedding coordinators have found that any longer than this, and you’ll find yourself going off track. 

If, when you are cutting down your writing, you find parts you really want to keep but they don’t necessarily belong in your ceremony vows – put them aside and use them in your reception speech.


If you have writer’s block and really just don’t know where or how to start – ask for help. The best person to ask would be your wedding celebrant or your wedding coordinator. They have been to many weddings, and are more than happy to offer advice or a little template to get the ball rolling for you.

San Remo Expert Tip – A cute idea is for you and your partner to write your vows together… make it a fun date night and chat about what you love about each other, your relationship, your goals and dreams… record your conversation or take written notes, and use snippets to create the perfect vows that are unique to the two of you.